Dysentery Tai
by Jenna D
Summary: PG for language. This is what happens at 10:20 PM when you've been listening to Enema of the State all day: You get yourself a mascot and make Tai go insane about Sora dating Matt. Gary: I'm the mascot.


Dysentery Tai  
A SongFic  
  
Aww man. What am I thinking, you ask? To be completely honest, I have no idea. I've been listening to Enema of the State a lot lately (it's all Lawra's fault. She taped the CD for me) and Dysentery Gary refuses to leave my head. GET OUT GARY!   
  
Gary: No way!  
  
*sigh* As you can see, Dysentery Gary will now be my constant companion. As long as he's staying he's gonna have to *work*, RIGHT GARY?  
  
Gary: *gulp* Right...  
  
Work includes DISCLAIMERS...  
  
Gary: *scared* Jenna doesn't own Tai, Sora, Matt, anyone else in Digimon, or the song Dysentery Gary by blink-182-, written by Mark Hoppus and Tom DeLonge, found on the album Enema of the State...  
  
Good work. Onward!  
  
  
  
  
  
They say there are stages to getting over something. In Tai's case, he was getting over Sora. She'd chosen Matt the Blonde Rock Star over him. Dammit.  
  
  
Got a lotta heartache  
He's a fucking weasel  
His issues make my mind ache  
Wanna make a deal  
  
  
Tai was moving from the "anguish" stage to the "anger" stage. He found himself constantly referring to Matt as a weasel behind his back and felt like every word out of his mouth was a complaint. It drove him insane and he had no clue what Sora saw in a guy like Matt.  
  
  
Cause I love your little motions  
You do with your pigtails  
What a nice creation  
Worth another night in jail  
  
  
All right, so Sora doesn't wear her hair in pigtails. But Tai loved the way she played with her hair and pretty much everything. He'd ended up in the slammer (a.k.a. his room, grounded) when he was caught spying on her one day after school. He thought it was worth it.  
  
  
He's a player, diarrhea giver  
Tried to grow his hair out when friends were listening to Slayer  
I would like to find him Friday night  
Hanging out with mom and trying on his father's tights  
  
  
Dysentery Gary ran through Tai's head and he thought of Matt. He didn't quite get the diarrhea giver part but he'd been listening to Slayer with Izzy and Joe the other night and Matt had been messing around with his hair, and Tai loved making fun of the blonde now... it was fun.  
  
  
Life just sucks  
I lost the one  
I'm giving up   
She found someone  
There's plenty more   
Girls are such a drag  
  
  
Tai felt life Sucked. Sora was The One. He decided to give up. She'd found Matt. Besides, there were tons of other things to do...   
  
Girls suck.  
  
  
So all you little ladies   
Be sure to choose the right guys  
You'll come back to me maybe  
I'll shower you with lies  
  
  
Sora's choice had made Tai absolutely insane. One day Tai had jumped up on a table in the cafeteria and announced that all the girls had better choose good boyfriends or they'd come to him and he'd only lie. The result was laughter and a week of detention.  
  
  
Got a lotta heartache  
He's a fucking weasel  
Decisions make my mind ache  
Wanna make a deal  
  
  
Still Tai mourned for losing Sora. He got up the nerve to call Matt a weasel to his face but Sora had pounded him. Choosing what to do next gave him a headache.  
  
  
Ease away the problems and the pain  
The girl chose the one guy that makes you want to kick and scream  
All along, you wish that she would stay  
Fuck the guy who took and ran away  
  
  
Yeah. Ease away. How? There were thousands of guys Sora could've chosen but she HAD to pick Matt. 'Course Tai woulda liked it if she'd stuck with him. Fuck Matt.  
  
  
He's a player, diarrhea giver  
Tried to grow his hair out when friends were listening to Slayer  
I would like to find him Friday night  
Hanging out with mom and trying on his father's tights  
  
  
Tai remembered the earlier thought and wondered how long Izzy had liked Slayer.  
  
  
Life just sucks  
I lost the one  
I'm giving up   
She found someone  
There's plenty more   
Girls are such a drag  
  
  
Especially Sora.   
  
Another outburst in the cafeteria resulted in Tai getting suspended when he stood up on a table again and sang at the top of his lungs,   
  
"Fuck this place   
I lost the war  
I hate you all  
Your mom's a whore  
Where's my dog?  
Cause girls are such a DRAG!"  
  
  
  
  
*sigh* I honestly think this is a piece of crap.  
  
Gary: A little Sora-and-Matt bashing, wouldn'tcha say?  
  
Shut up Gary. *sigh* Naw, You're right.  
  
Gary: Yes I am.   
  
Go ahead. Flame me. Just review... *slumps over*  
  
Gary: She's tired. 


End file.
